Chuck Banas, Yucca Valley, CA

I was married but felt alone. I wanted to love and be loved by my wife—I wanted to know her and be known by her, but I didn’t know how to begin. Raised in the Catholic Church and an altar boy for many years, I never missed a mass; my life was shaped by tradition. So I felt like I was the one with a firm foundation, while Jaque was still asking why. I didn’t ask why; I believed I knew why. But little did I know that God was going to use Jaque to show me that my foundation wasn’t yet complete, for it did not include a personal, up-close, and intimate relationship with Christ.

Jaque kept digging for answers and I stayed with things I already knew. But I watched her as I tested the truths she received and shared. In time I realized that what the Lord revealed to her did not contradict the basic tenets of my faith but rather deepened it. As I continued to watch I felt increasingly convicted to follow the path she was on and to journalize God’s word on a personal level. In time I realized that God wanted to take me somewhere with this.

The heart of my marriage began to change when I actually involved myself in a Visionwriters class. I saw that the strategy practiced with others enhanced everyone’s relationship with God in an intimate way. I recognized how God was guiding all of us. People need this kind of guidance to be set free from bondage. They need to hear truth straight from the Holy Spirit who illuminates God’s word. They need to understand that freedom doesn’t just happen; we have to enter into grace "on purpose" with Him.

Visionwriters is a vehicle God brought into my life through my wife to save me from religious pride and introduce me to a God of personal and everlasting love. As Jaque and I keep choosing to seek God first and make Him the center of our lives, He proves Himself to be the strong force in our marriage—even our whole lives. Jesus Christ is our true Counselor—the one who reveals us to one another—making us true soul mates.

Today I am in my marriage with my wife; I love and receive love through her. I am no longer alone; that old ache is full of God at last.

 

(Note* Chuck passed away at the end of 2006 but his words will live on in our hearts forever.) 

Amba Temple-Hipp, Landers, California

I was abandoned and homeless at age 14. The ache I lived with was that I was not wanted. Barefoot, poor and living in a drug lifestyle, I didn’t know the first thing about how to function as a normal human being. I accepted the Lord at age 40, but my experience in church was legalistic and introduced more confusion. When I attended my first Visionwriters class I started hearing the Gospel of grace, and my heart responded to it. At first all I heard God say was how much He loved me; that was the beginning of my healing. I just wasn’t aware I needed so much of it! But God was a safe place to start talking things through.

Visionwriters structure of discipline and accountability stretched me. I kept pressing through my fears until I got to God. The structure pulled me out of mediocrity and into excellence. Journalizing keeps me awake and walks me through my relationship to life. I was a school dropout, but now have gained enough confidence to finish high school, enter college, and have since earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology. If it weren’t for the structure of Visionwriters teaching me how to take one day at a time, I don’t believe I would have done this. I am realizing my true potential by pushing through. I am becoming something so much more than I ever thought I could be. This is the actual doing of it instead of just dreaming of it.

I find that most people are afraid to commit to anything that takes this much time and energy, yet this kind of a commitment gives you energy instead of taking it. You have to push through the gravitational pull that wants to keep you lazy instead of achieving excellence with God. I budget this push into my life by protecting my journalizing and class time. I heard someone say, after doing one of our classes, “This was great; I received so much truth and I don’t know how I can live without it, but I’m busy—I have my own ministry.” I immediately said in my own heart, “How can you live without something like this for the sake of your own ministry? This commitment would not take away from your ministry, but rather add to it by healing the leaks and cracks caused by human suffering, so you would have more space to minister from—no matter what your ministry is. How can you live without an ongoing relationship this intimate?” You have to daily walk out God’s vision for you or else, eventually, your issues are not resolved and all you can do is live from one anointing to another, rather than continually abiding in God’s presence. I’ve found in Visionwriters a way to stay at a very intimate and deep level with God; I’m getting healed from the “get go”—from “way down deep”—so I can reach out to others.

James Hipp, Landers, CA

I was raised in a Christian church. As an adult I was wild and out of sync with society, but I still tried to keep a connection with God. When I came to Visionwriters I heard the message loud and clear: God is alive in me and wants me to be the person He created me to be.

Some of us have enough Jesus for salvation, but fewer have enough Jesus for change. The more you put in, the more you get out. I understand now that I must make room in my life for His presence in order to receive the power to make changes.

Journalizing and reading the lessons convince me that I’m a necessary part of God’s plan. His purpose for my life is unfolding. I feel it much stronger when I’m actively doing it. My journal is a holy place and I feel wonderfully clean when I am there.

Sara McDaniel, Okinawa, Japan

I was raised in a Christian family, in England, and gave my heart to the Lord at an early age. My journey has been one of breaking free from all I thought I knew of God, in order to enter true relationship with Him as He reveals Himself daily. I grew up knowing all the rules I "should" keep, followed by debilitating guilt for not keeping them.

I first met Jaque at a retreat in Hawaii in 1992. God clearly spoke to me in my first journal, healing me of guilt from my past, and ensuring me that He loved me. The tool of journalizing enabled me to abide in Him and to progressively become more intimately acquainted with Him. Ever since then I have been on this journey into the Promised Land, at first alone and then with other vision writers. God faithfully continues to renew my mind and set me free. He strengthens, enlightens, and consoles me. He shows me the meaning of things, gives me wisdom and direction, and all the time increases my love for Him. It is so enriching to see Him do this in the lives of others also.

When the Marine Corps stationed us in California in 2002, I took the opportunity to train as a Visionkeeper, knowing that wherever the military sent us next, I would need to keep a firm hold on this vision in the company of others. I currently live in Okinawa, Japan and am facilitating the courses here. Visionwriters International is not just another Bible study, but, as one of my students said, it’s Remedial Christianity 101, teaching us how to recognize God's voice. Many of us did not get that training when we first believed.

In a scene from C.S. Lewis's book, Prince Caspian, Aslan, the great king and lion, has not been seen for a while. Lucy, the youngest of the children, aches to see him. One night she wakes to hear noises in the forest, and hears a voice calling her. She goes to the clearing and Aslan is there. She runs to Him and flings her arms around him. He welcomes her lovingly and she tells him that he seems bigger than he was. He replies, “That is because you are older, little one.” “Not because you are?” she asks. “I am not,” he replies. “But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.”

As a Visionkeeper I am privileged to be in a partnership with the Lord. My small, but important part, my joy, is to witness to what God has done in my life through journalizing and to offer a class venue for others who want more of God in their lives. His part, His promise, is to faithfully reveal Himself to those who diligently seek Him. My part is easy, rewarding and fulfilling, because I know I can leave God's part to Him! Those on this vision writing journey, who allow God to train them in His goodness and sovereignty, will find that He keeps getting bigger as they grow. I am thankful for this ministry and the chance to offer this living water, which has so refreshed me, to others.

Cyndi Van Meter, Orange, CA

I was 18 years old, on a fast track to hell, with no purpose in mind. I lived how I wanted to live, hiding behind alcohol and men. I ached for love and acceptance, but all I got was a nagging inner deadness that demanded more lust to fill itself.

At the age of 21, I received Christ into my life. I was fully addicted to an eating disorder and I prayed, “Lord, help me.” The Lord sent Jaque Banas who challenged me to do the study Miracle in the Mirror with her. During the eight weeks of study I could hardly believe the connection I made with God. I felt loved and valued for the first time in my life. There was hope for me. I could hear God personally saying, “Cyndi, I love and I accept you. That which the enemy meant for evil, I will turn to good.” What truths I learned—life transforming truths! For the first time in my Christian walk, I could receive God’s love.

I’ve been choosing the way of the Visionwriter for over 20 years, it is my way of life. When the going gets tough, the structure gives me hope. Sometimes I look back and see how far I’ve come. I’ve been restored. To God be the glory!

Susan Mucklow, Yucca Valley, CA

The critical voices in my head never stopped. Their narratives grossly polluted my perspectives. Everything was filtered through this inner dialogue and very little good survived the process. I was my biggest disappointment for I wasn’t myself and had long ago resigned the fight to be my true self. I continually compared myself with others and longed to be somebody else.

People tried to love me but they were only a mirror of my own self-hatred. All I could see was disappointment in their eyes. Nothing felt real or connected. Simple things in life became increasingly difficult. Choices were agonizing, for any decision was met with ruthless scrutiny. I’d sleep for days to recover. On a good day I was despondent, on a bad day I was in a fight for my sanity.

To cope with self-loathing I created a fantasy world - a place where it was impossible for me to make mistakes. Crafting the ideal “me” took time. Whatever embarrassment I felt in reality I would re-craft in the fantasy. If I felt stupid, I made myself witty. If I felt ugly, I made myself beautiful. I was in a continual state of revising my fabricated self. I began to feel numb in the real world and felt alive only in the altered reality of my mind. When real life forced my attention I resented the intrusion. I longed for death but feared taking my own life.

I was already a Christian. I read the word, attended studies, prayed, went to church, sang songs, and tried to be a good pastor’s wife. But something was lost within me. The Lord was no more real to me than I was to myself. I was in a grave place the day I first heard Jaque Banas. Who was this woman? She was reading from a journal and a very real and Living Lord was speaking directly to her. I had no idea He could speak this intimately and naturally.

Something stirred. I intuitively knew I would need a constant companion to lead me out of the hell I created. I also knew it was too much to ask and more than any human could give. How had I missed the fact that Jesus died to provide this kind of unbroken fellowship? Why was my Christian life consumed with the ache of a seemingly silent God? In that moment, I knew I would be okay. The hope of hearing and writing down His personal words in me was born. This practice became the saving of my own soul.

Mercy led me to Visionwriters, a ministry where discipline, accountability, relationship, and community work together to maintain a steady flow of dialogue with God. I know how to silence the noise in my head now. A simple word releases the authority of Christ in me. He is my strength and my reality. He has awakened the real me. Only an intimate Lord could make this connection, making the inner and outer life an adventure worth living!

Michael Mucklow, Yucca Valley, CA

God was distant. I ached for a deeper relationship with Him, but He showed me I was following fellow believers more than Him. He drew me out and began wooing me to one-on-one relationship. He wanted my focus.

Visionwriters was the next step in my progression for developing an intimate relationship with God. Journalizing brought me into a deep place of intimacy. I was a Christian for 20 years before coming into Visionwriters. I had more growth in my first five years at Visionwriters than I had in my previous 20 years combined. I can’t imagine the rest of my life without it; it carries that much importance to me.

In the Bible you can read where God said to write down the words He speaks. The Psalms are a great example of men recording two-way conversations with God. All the books of the NT are words of God written down by men of God talking about how to live their lives in Christ. We have a Bible today because of men who wrote down what God told them. It’s an area I believe men lack in their relationship with God. If more men became intimate with God, the body of Christ would have more true leaders.

Michele Banas, Joshua Tree, CA

I have been journalizing in Jaque’s ministry since I was a child. Recently, I had a breakthrough that is changing my whole relationship with God. I used to journalize with a mindset that if I couldn’t do it perfectly, I wouldn’t do it at all. That view filled me with condemnation.

Frustrated, I asked God to help me see something different. He showed me I would know His strength, show bravery, and be graced with a spirit of compassion, but it was going to involve putting my ideas and thought patterns on the cross—to die daily. He asked me to come—5 minutes or 1 hour, whatever I preferred, morning or evening—it didn’t matter—I was just to get there. He asked me to come quietly before Him, expecting and believing. He promised that He would be faithful to break through my erroneous patterns if I would commit to coming daily! This freed me from notions of what “my GOD time” had to look like.

I was hopeful about this new journey, but in the next class I was met with feelings of despair. I quieted myself in God’s presence and waited to hear. Nothing. The next day—more of nothing. As challenged as I felt, day after day I stuck with it. Finally, on the seventh day, I received a word saying, “Michele, I use this time to mold obedience; surrender all your ideals and just show up. I want your heart Michele—a heart that perseveres, even in the midst of doubt. Be at peace and embrace the moment I have you in now, no matter what it looks like!” I realized that God was testing my heart to see if I would obey His challenge to just come. I’ve had simple days and days full of complexities, yet I’ve been faithful at 8:00 a.m., 11:30 am, or 10:00 p.m. to find that time, no matter what. My faith is increasing and habitual obedience is forming. He’s given me strength and wisdom to leave my comfort zones to find Him!

Kristi Rice, 29 Palms, CA

I don’t serve the road I’m driving on—it serves me, and the disciplined structure of Visionwriters has proven to serve and greatly benefit my life.

I remember asking myself, “Kristi, how will you remember God’s answers if you don’t treasure them enough to write them down?” I needed to learn to pay attention so I would not be distracted by unimportant thoughts. I understand now that journalizing is practicing His presence in a very deliberate way. It is the practice of heeding His voice with the full intent to obey.

If I had several things to accomplish in a day I’d write them down, because I wouldn’t want to forget anything. How much more important are the words my Father speaks to me? I need His words to be the core of all I do and say. It isn’t enough to just read the Bible, I need it to become my way of life.

It’s important to be encouraged to dig deeper, and the Visionwriter’s structure helps me work out my own salvation. Discipline is being formed in me as I experience a multi-dimensional depth in my life. It is producing safety, strength, consistency, clarity, focused attention, and greater awareness.

Lily Fehrenbacher, Citrus Heights, CA

When I heard Jaque Banas speak it was as though God was speaking to me personally. I remember thinking, “This woman has spent a lot of time with Him.” My spirit knew she had something I wanted so I took one of her Bible studies and learned to journalize God’s word. Jesus told me how much He loved me and that I was forgiven. That was when I knew He was alive and living in me; I could hear His voice!

After a season, I ran from the Lord and returned to the life of a drug addict, living in shame for ten more years. One night on the brink of insanity I fell on the floor and cried out to the Lord. He said, “Lily, I am the best rehab you’ve ever known; return to where you first found Me.” I called Jaque and she received me with open arms. At last I am fully surrendered, and becoming a whole person. He called me to return, not to Jaque Banas but to Himself; Jaque is simply the vessel He used to show me His love with skin on. I treasure this ministry. It has changed my life and taught me to live in His Presence. Now I know Him for who He really is—my Daddy.

Tim Hicks, Yucca Valley, CA

I watched my wife, Kim, take the classes for several years. When I came in I felt uneasy—almost on the verge of tears; a sense of sadness and despair, especially in times of stress— but the fellowship, accountability, community, and teaching brought me joy.

The teachings on finances are one of my favorite things; the conviction on tithing was total, as was the reward. Tithing is an absolute requirement for building trust. Faith can’t be complete without recognizing this spiritual principle. We have always been blessed financially, but now I’m fully convinced that God will always provide. I used to be exhausted by trying to do it all by myself. Now I feel more relaxed by letting God do it—I haven’t felt the heightened emotional swings.

My first and foremost reason for coming to Visionwriters was for my marriage; it has definitely brought Kim and I closer together. When we fight I don’t feel as personally attacked, and I have a lot more empathy towards Kim’s position, so I no longer launch a counter attack.

I still have a long way to go on the discipline—a good week is one or two journals—but I’ve been able to pen some things that clearly show God flowing through me. I am ministered to by Chuck and Jaque’s obedience. When I see them struggling through to the other side, it encourages me to do the same.

Real people were what I first noticed about Visionwriters. This group is after God every day—not for show, financial gain, or networking. This group has accountability. We continually seek God’s word and wisdom and as we do we stay on the narrow path. We’re in tune to the signals that warn us to quickly get back to basics.

God has healed whatever portion was aching in me. I’m touched by the other students, especially my wife, who keeps coming back and working at this. I see it working powerfully in other’s lives, and this encourages me to keep going.

Kim Hicks, Yucca Valley, CA

Discipline and structure are stabilizing me through these courses. I do the work from a want to, not a have to. I clearly hear Him through other people and writings throughout the day when I spend time with Him in the morning. Maturity in Christ is a natural result of being held accountable for doing my own inner work. There is nowhere else for me to go; I’ve found my community.

Always having been a free spirit I’m being anchored to the truth here. It’s becoming a habit to listen to God with the intent to obey. I find that, although many say they want to go through the narrow gate, few do. God is the focus here; I enjoy being in a community with others who are not afraid to hear Him in Spirit and in truth.

A few years ago my husband came. We have an adult handicapped child and, more than we knew, we needed God to minister to our hearts and draw us closer to one another. Coming to a place where doing the inner work is so emphasized was the answer we were looking for. Our friends have been watching; some are even starting to come.

Visionwriters has touched many lives and will continue to do so. I’m fulfilled and believe in what I’m doing right now. I’m steadfast, not distracted by looking other places. I have a thirst to simplify my life, and it is only quenched by spending time with God.

Kathy Schinhofen, Yorba Linda, CA

As a child, my father abandoned the family leaving his wife and four small children. My mother tried to escape her pain by drinking. I felt unloved, unwanted, and rejected. In my heart I wondered if it was possible to have a moment in time not to hurt.

As a teen, I mimicked mom and dulled my pain with alcohol and drugs. The death of a close friend caused me to cry out to God. I accepted Christ and was taught that God loved me, but there wasn’t a day I didn’t ask myself, “Could God really love me? I don’t even love myself. My own father didn’t love me.”

I met my husband, Steve, and it was a joy to seek the Lord together as Christians. We were married, but within a year we were constantly fighting. I was still unable to receive love. How could my husband love me when my own father couldn’t? I was very involved in church, read my Bible daily, and even volunteered at an orphanage every month. No matter how hard I tried nothing stopped my heart from wrenching.

I heard about Jaque’s class and decided to take a chance. Again I heard how much God loved me - but there was more - Jaque was teaching me how to receive His love. I learned to be still and to wait for God to speak; I learned to hear His voice! God spoke to me personally and said, “Kathy, I love you!” A miracle was set in motion. The ache in my heart began to leave. For the first time in my life I knew I was loved; I experienced His love first-hand!

Visionwriters has been an important part of my life for almost twenty five years. My husband and I now have a marriage ministry, are assistant directors of a family counseling center, and are on the radio every week. Hearing His voice by journalizing His Word saved our marriage; now we encourage every couple to learn how to hear, receive, and obey the Master Counselor!

Susan Broyles, Independence, CA

When I was a young girl I knew one day the Lord would convince me of a God in heaven, but until then I would live like hell! A heart full of rage turned my life into a nightmare. I carried my fury and self-loathing into marriage. Tormented and out of control, I feared for my children. Desperate, I called His name, "Jesus, save me." He rescued me and used my dysfunctional life to forge a solid decision for Christ.

Getting saved is glorious, but let's face it, there's got to be a road we can get on to help us grow up. I went to church, but I was still torn up and wounded inside. My hurt was hurting others, and I needed more truth, sooner rather than later. So often I’d hear a sermon about what I needed to do or what kind of person I should be, but I was never told how to do it. Practical application was always missing. A simple instruction like, "love the Lord your God with all your heart..." was a mystery to me. I wanted to do it, but how?

When I heard Jaque Banas offer a strategy for turning good intentions into actual changes I was ecstatic. Visionwriters became my road to maturity. I was trained to hear my Father for myself, no longer waiting on others for the personal truth I needed to hear. Sure, I still make mistakes, but aware of His presence, I can talk to Him anytime, and get His answers directly. Through Visionwriters He gave me tools to build a firm foundation. In our culture there is a lot out there that is not life. We need the constancy of the Spirit of love, hope and truth to lead and guide us into the abundant life of knowing Jesus Christ as Lord. I truly thank God for Visionwriters.

Shia Thixton, Wenatchee, WA

When I was 10 my mom (Susan Broyles) started in Visionwriters and brought her children along with her. Attending class kept me safe during my teen years, but I was mostly living off of other people’s faith. God seemed silent, and I eventually had to initiate my own relationship so He could be real to me.

The Lord allowed me to reveal my doubts and ask questions a lot of people don't ask. I learned to be honest with Him and to choose Him for myself, everyday. Just reading my Bible was not enough; it was like drinking milk instead of eating meat. As I journalize His Word, He imparts the meaning behind the words - which becomes a meatier message for mulling over throughout the day.

The community helps me know I’m not alone—it’s filled with people who were once where I am but have now gone further down the road. These people make me want to grow. They are role models for me and show me the type of mother I want to be. I have a strong family today because of the foundation Visionwriters helped us build on. Hearing God through discipline, accountability, relationship, and community are the most important things I can teach my kids. I know, because my mom taught me.

Jeht Thixton, Wenatchee, WA

Prior to Visionwriters I lived with the idea of God watching me, but without the personal boundary of his law. I knew he was there, but did nothing to make Him real in my life. I would close the door on Him, bringing Him out only when I needed him. I would do stuff and be in the presence of things I knew were wrong in God's eyes, but do nothing to stop it. I only felt responsible for my actions when I was alone with myself.

Actions have consequences and consequences have meaning. Visionwriters helped me see the responsibility I have to myself to be committed to God, because of His word spoken directly to me. Visionwriters introduced me to an inner responsibility and an inner commitment to what I believe. Having taught me to journalize His Word, I know God is personally involved with me. It’s like the Principal of a school—you know he’s there, but until you have a reason to go see him, he doesn't feel relevant to you.

To know God is to have meaning. To live without God is to live without meaning. Visionwriters is a tool I never had when I was younger; by knowing God I am now finding meaning for my life. He’s definitely real now and present in everything around me; He's no longer a door that I think I can open or shut at will.

Janice Redford, Jacksonville, NC

The ache of my heart was, “I am missing it.” I could never do things well enough to be who I was supposed to be. I thought achievement would make me pleasing to God, so I tried harder, only to repeatedly fail and be reminded of my inadequacy. In this cycle of failure, I became critical and judgmental toward myself and others.

Visionwriters taught me to journalize His word so I could hear what God was saying to me everyday. Through this practice, I have experienced His goodness for myself, which built a foundation of personal trust. My heart is filled with hope and joy. I can hear, receive, and obey His words. I learned to hear Him through the structure of Visionwriters. Now I walk in a relationship where I am increasingly more aware of His love for me.

Linda Burr, Big Bear Lake, CA

For as long as I can remember, my heart ached for intimacy—to know and be known, to love and be loved, to accept and be accepted for who I was. This was also the thing I was most afraid of, for I feared rejection too much to allow myself to be real with others. God addressed my ache when I entered the Visionwriters community and the discipline of journalizing. I immediately recognized a depth that I had not experienced before.

Early on, God planted a dream in my heart. Gently but firmly He showed me that I was afraid to abandon myself to the dream. The fear of rejection and of the chaos caused by change was making me disobedient to Him. I would never experience the intimacy I longed for until I was free to be who He made me to be. Knowing His unconditional love for me (over time) brought me to the place where I fear disobeying my Father more than I fear the loss of man’s love. I have abandoned myself to the dream and am beginning to reap the rewards of intimacy in my personal relationships.

Visionwriter’s structure made this possible for me. I entered the discipline of sitting with the Lord every day to journalize His word. I allowed myself to be held accountable by coming to class, sharing my journals, and handing in my weekly responses to be coached. This led to relationship with the other believers, which deepened with time. The relationship grew into true community. In this safe place I grew strong enough to abandon myself to the dream God had placed within me. The things God asks of us often require great courage. We cannot go this road alone. We need one another more than we know. I thank God for the structure of Visionwriters that provides for this kind of safe community. It is available to all who will enter in.

Doret LeVert, Hacienda Heights, CA

All my life I had the fear of not being good enough; of being unacceptable or inadequate. I did not know or even like myself, and was unable to laugh at myself. I was taught God loves me, but I did not know how to grasp His caring and unconditional love as a reality for me.

The Holy Spirit drew me to Visionwriters, a place where experiencing the love of God is foundational. In a disciplined and structured environment I learned to hear the Lord’s voice. My character was developed and I learned to walk in love. I was accepted for who I was.

I continually practice being patient and kind with my self. I have confidence in my Father who is faithful to complete the good work He has begun in me. As trust deepens between us, I find myself responding to His love and being vulnerable with my peers. It’s freeing to be able to laugh at myself and to share mistakes and shortcomings without a sense of shame. I choose to remain teachable as Father directs me in my daily practice of choosing life.

Elena Juarez, 29 Palms, CA

The youngest of 7 children, I lived in a single wide trailer in the forsaken desert of Amboy, California. I grew up never having known affection or discipline. My mother never asked me where I was going or when (even if) I would return. I felt invisible to everyone while the ache of loneliness was my constant companion.

At the age of 27 I found myself on the destructive road of alcoholism, which made me feel I'd be better off dead. After two unsuccessful suicide attempts, I was desperate and hopeless. I went to AA and sobered up.

God in His grace brought me to Visionwriters International and introduced me to this process of journalizing. Because I was by nature an undisciplined person, I knew I had to choose to embrace the disciplined structure all the way. I did by coming into the presence of my God each day. I discovered that He wanted to reveal the ache in me so He could heal it. God told me I was not alone. He repeatedly showed me the promise in His word that said He would never leave me or forsake me.

As I remain in the discipline of journalizing and the accountability of doing the work and obeying Father, my relationship with God and others deepens. I find I am no longer alone, but am in a community—a family— where I am deeply loved and valued. They care where I am and about what I do. They call me into accountability when I forget and behave as though I’m still alone in the world. I have hope for my future and the future of others. I am realizing a changed life.

This process works! I see myself moving forward, the ache in my heart is leaving as my Father heals me through His Son, Jesus Christ. That’s why I remain; it does work, and there is hope. I am finding true joy—a joy that affects me and all those around me for good. Hallelujah!