He’s used this book not only to start some amazingly wonderful conversations amongst my children and me, but also between Him and me. Even while reading it aloud to them, it seems as if He is speaking the words to me. When Aslan, the Lion that represents Him in the story, speaks I hear the Lord speaking to my heart.

The story centers on the boy Digory (who is the Magician’s nephew) and his London neighbor and friend Polly. They are sent to another world via some magic rings given to them by Digory’s Uncle Andrew and end up discovering the land of Charn, home to the evil Queen Jadis (also known as the Witch). While escaping from the desolate Charn, Digory’s impulsive actions end up allowing the Witch to return to our world along with him and Polly. They are then faced with the predicament of how to get her out of our world and back into her own, before her vicious schemes to take over and rule the world are allowed to manifest.

When opportunity strikes and Digory and Polly attempt to get Jadis back to her own world, they end up in an entirely new land, one that is just beginning to form, with the Witch and the blithering and pathetic Uncle Andrew in tow. They hear and see life blossoming before their eyes; trees going from sprouts to full size in a matter of minutes, full grown animals emerging from the ground, beautiful sunsets and an inexplicable music filling the air. The Witch and the Uncle immediately hate the land; the music from the Voice is annoying, they can’t understand the beauty in the sunsets, and when the Witch throws a piece of lampstand (at Aslan’s head) she had previously gained from our world for use as weapon and it grows into a whole new functioning lampstand, the Uncle’s first thought is how he could capitalize on that magic.

All along in the story, we are made aware that Digory’s mother is very sick, on her death bed even. He is constantly thinking about her, and wishes more than anything that he could find a cure for her. When he meets Aslan and sees His power in calling forth the sun and the stars and how the animals revere and love Him immediately, it seems to Digory that this is where he will find the remedy. He pursues Aslan to ask Him for a cure for His mother. Aslan does not answer that question but instead questions Digory on how the Witch was allowed into His beautiful new world within its first few hours of life. Digory tells Him the truth immediately, knowing that somehow Aslan already knew the truth. Aslan then tells Digory of His plan to protect Narnia from the evil that has penetrated it, by planting a tree that the Witch will not dare go near. Digory is to be sent on a mission to get the seed for this tree, from a far away garden.

During this conversation, Digory is unable to look at Aslan in the eyes, until a crucial moment in the story takes place. In his despair he finally looks up at the Lion’s face and asks if He can or will give Digory something to cure his mother. The story reads, What he saw surprised him as much as anything in his whole life. For the tawny face was bent down near his own and (wonder of wonders) great shining tears stood in the Lion’s eyes. They were such big, bright tears compared with Digory’s own that for a moment he felt as if the Lion must really be sorrier about his Mother than he was himself. ‘My son, my son,’ said Aslan. ‘I know. Grief is great. Only you and I in this land know that yet. Let us be good to one another.’

Digory is soon off on the adventure to get the apple seed of redemption and protection. He doesn’t make it in one day, and has no food with him. He is quite hungry when he arrives in the garden. On the way in, he can’t seem to make much sense out of the engraving on the gate:

Come in by the gold gates or not at all,

Take of my fruit for others or forbear,

For those who steal or those who climb my wall

Shall find their heart’s desire and find despair.

After smelling the apple, it is harder than he imagined resisting the temptation to pick one for himself to eat. He goes through a process of justification, self-explaining why it might be alright to take one. After all, he had obeyed the command to get an apple for others like the gate seemed to suggest and Aslan asked. Would be wrong to taste one? To take one for himself, too? Then the Witch shows up.

I’ll break here for a minute from the story synopsis to explain that this next point in the story is what has touched me the most, the place where I have heard the Lord speaking to my heart; an echo of what He has been gently and persistently teaching me for the last few years. It’s been necessary for me to give you (or if you’ve read this story, remind you of) the history of Digory and his desires, along with his limited viewpoint and impulsive actions, so that you understand that I am Digory, and that my life is a story of His plans for my redemption, today and forever.

From the time I began to breathe, I have been told lies such as the Witch is about to tell Digory. Since the dawn of time in the wonderfully beautiful God-breathed land that has been given to us, evil has been attempting to convince us that our Father is holding out on us. I have been told all in one breath that I don’t need Him, and even if I did He wouldn’t have me.

‘Foolish boy,” said the Witch. ‘Why do you run from me? I mean you no harm. If you do not stop and listen to me now, you will miss some knowledge that would have made you happy all your life.’

‘Well, I don’t want to hear it, thanks,’ said Digory. But he did.

‘I know what errand you have come on,’ continued the Witch. ‘For it was I who was close beside you in the woods last night and heard all your counsels. You have plucked fruit in the garden yonder. You have it in your pocket now. And you are going to carry it back, untasted, to the Lion; for him to eat, for him to use. You simpleton! Do you know what the fruit is? I will tell you. It is the apple of youth, the apple of life. I know, for I have tasted it; and I feel already such changes in myself that I know I shall never grow old or die. Eat it, Boy, eat it; and you and I will both live forever and be king and queen of this whole world – or of your world, if we decide to go back there.’

‘No thanks,’ said Digory, ‘I don’t know that I care much about living on and on after everyone I know is dead. I’d rather live an ordinary time and die and go to Heaven.’

Good for Digory! But, just wait….that Witch isn’t done yet. Can you identify? When it comes to the obvious tactics of our adversary, such as having power or riches, I can most times detect it. But, what about those other deep-rooted, less obvious, maybe even ‘more acceptable’ fears regarding our children, our parents, our health, the peace and joy that seems to be ‘out there’- unattainable, or the bottom line question of our worth and purpose as beings in this world? Are we good enough? Can we really trust that our Father cares as much, even more, than we do?

‘But what about this Mother of yours whom you pretend to love so?’

‘What’s she got to do with it?’ said Digory.

‘Do you not see, Fool,(how is that she calls him names and still sounds convincing?) that one bite of that apple would heal her? You have it in your pocket. We are here by ourselves, and the Lion is far away. (He’s really not all-knowing…) Use your Magic and go back to your own world. A minute later you can be at your Mother’s bedside, giving her the fruit. Five minutes later you will see the color coming back to her face. She will tell you the pain is gone. Soon she will tell you she feels stronger. Then she will fall asleep-think of that; hours of sweet natural sleep, without pain, without drugs. Next day everyone will be saying how wonderfully she has recovered. (Thanks to you, by the way.) Soon she will be quite well again. All will be well again. (You will have fixed what Aslan doesn’t care about.) Your home will be happy again. You will be like other boys.’ (You will have made yourself good enough.) (Parentheses mine)

Digory, through much difficulty finally tells the Witch to stuff it, and leaves with the apple, and only the one apple, to take to Aslan. He makes it back in one day, and in a beautiful scene I imagine being hard for the author to describe with words, presents the apple to the Lion.

‘Well done. Well done, son of Adam. For this fruit you have hungered and thirsted and wept. No hand but yours shall sow the seed of the Tree that is to be the protection of Narnia. Throw the apple toward the river bank where the ground is soft.’

From here, a large tree grows in a short amount of time, and the new King and Queen, Frank and Helen, are crowned. Next, comes the scene that shows exactly how redemptive and loving our Father really is.  First, let’s recap. Aslan never condemns Digory for his sin, he simply gives him opportunity to confess it. Being in the Lion’s presence, Digory wanted to tell the truth. He wanted purity, because he was in Purity’s presence. After confessing his sin, Aslan then immediately gives Digory the opportunity for redemption. Digory must trust Him, trust that He will sustain him through his journey, and then he must obey.

When he does trust and obey, Aslan gives him the thing he was originally after, a cure for his mother. He allows him to pick an apple off of the Tree. But Aslan doesn’t award this to Digory until Digory understands that it had to be in the right way, at the right time. Aslan explains that if Digory had taken the apple outside of His will, it would have allowed his mother to live, even physically healthy. But, she would have been miserable, and would have even one day said that she would have rather have died from the disease.

I have a habit of taking apples from trees before the Lord has asked me to do so. He’s always working, and teaching me to trust him on this journey and then obey. Once that understanding is in place, then often he’ll give me the thing I sought before. But, once I understand that He is all I need, and that His will and timing are perfect, it wouldn’t even matter if He didn’t give me what I originally sought. If it’s not from Him, I don’t want it anyway.

Lord, you are amazingly wonderful. I trust you. I trust that you are always working and that you are loving and good. I also trust that you are a God that cannot be compared with any other thing. You are splendorous, and awesome. You are intimate and caring. Teach me today Lord, what it is I want to take from the tree before you’ve asked me to, anything I am looking at before You. Thank-you Father for your plan of redemption. Thank-you for saving me from death.

Ah, I’ve got a plan. Here’s what I’ll do…

Luke:16:4a  The Message

Every priest goes to work at the altar each day, offers the same old sacrifices year in, year out, and never makes a dent in the sin problem. As a priest, Christ made a single sacrifice for sins, and that was it! Then he sat down right beside God and waited for his enemies to cave in. It was a perfect sacrifice by a perfect person to perfect some very imperfect people. By that single offering, he did everything that needed to be done for everyone who takes part in the purifying process.

Hebrews 10:11-14  The Message

It’s that time again. Sigh. The time when many of us make plans for what we want to change this year, otherwise known as ‘resolutions’. Sigh. Why do we do this to ourselves? Who initiated this tradition of attempting to fix everything all at once, only to find that within a few weeks, it’s likely that we’ll have gone right back into our old habits?

Determination is what is supposed to produce the change we seek when we make resolutions. It’s a character quality that’s held in high esteem by our society. “She’s one determined young lady, she’ll be very successful” or “I am determined not to fail on this diet!” Why, then, after having a realization (“I need to write more letters to my family this year”) when we feel so determined, does little change take place?

It’s interesting when one takes a closer look at what determination really is. The Latin word is determinare, meaning ‘set limits to’, or ‘mark off a boundary’ (the law?). In contrast, ‘resolution’ in the Latin is from resolutionem meaning ‘a breaking into parts,’ or ‘the process of reducing things into simpler forms,’ both of which come from the stem of resolvere, meaning ‘loosen’. So, why are we setting limits and marking off boundaries for things that really need to be simplified and let go of?

Paul said this in another form in 1 Corinthians chapter 2: “You’ll remember, friends, that when I first came to you to let you in on God’s master stroke, I didn’t try to impress you with polished speeches and the latest philosophy. I deliberately kept it plain and simple: first Jesus and who he is; then Jesus and what he did—Jesus crucified.” Even more applicable to daily life, he said this in chapter 7,  “I do want to point out, friends, that time is of the essence. There is no time to waste, so don’t complicate your lives unnecessarily. Keep it simple —in marriage, grief, joy, whatever. Even in ordinary things—your daily routines of shopping, and so on. Deal as sparingly as possible with the things the world thrusts on you. This world as you see it is on its way out.”

Rather than get determined and forceful with the thing in our lives that we realize needs changing, consequently becoming like a law-minded priest who offers the same useless sacrifice ‘year in and year out’, let’s try letting go of it, releasing it to our Father. Simplify, loosen, like “resolution” truly means. Imagine yourself holding the thing in your hand and opening your fingers to let go control of it or in your heart and letting God reach in and take it.

More than ‘every year’ even, each and every day let’s release our determination to “fix” ourselves, our self-set limits, and let God mold and change our hearts and lives. It’s a wonderful and mysterious thing what happens when we sit with our loving Father, receiving His Word for us. Time spent in the scriptures and in our journals is the only thing that will produce the change we seek. If there’s anything to be resolute about, it’s the daily practice of ‘letting go and letting God’. Then we are sure to see God produce in us true, eternal, perfect change.

…because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.

Hebrews 10:14

It might sound strange but God wants to find me as much as, if not more than, I want to find God….God is not the patriarch who stays home, doesn’t move and expects his children to come to him, apologize for their aberrant behavior, beg for forgiveness and promise to do better. To the contrary, he leaves the house, ignoring his dignity by running toward them, pays no heed to apologies and promises of change, and brings them to the table richly prepared for them.When I look through God’s eyes at my lost self and discover God’s joy at my coming home, then my life may become less anguished and more trusting.

Henri Nouwen, The Return of the Prodigal Son

What he taught me yesterday is even more cool. Having been a part of Visionwriters for 1 1/2 years now, I have come to really appreciate the phrase “Lord, what is it?” It’s often the starting place for my journals and the igniter for the fire that burns away all the junk around what’s really going on inside.  Well, come to find out ‘manna’ means ‘What is it?’.  Cool, huh?!